YOU & ME & EGO The Firehouse Paintings

IT’S 4AM 

WINTER IS ON IT’S WAY 

AND IT’S DARK AND COLD OUTSIDE 

THE COMINGS OF A BACTERIA RAIN IN THE DISTANCE 

FROM THE UPSTAIRS OF THE FH, 

I CAN SEE OVER THE SMALL HOUSES 

THE NEIGHBORHOOD IS DEAD QUIET

AND WILL REMAIN SO MOST OF THE DAY 

NOT A LOT OF LIFE IN THESE STREETS

AN AREA OF A SMALL KENTUCKY RIVER TOWN WHERE DRUGS ARE RAMPANT 

AND CHILDREN (IF SEEN OR HEARD)

SPEAK WITH FOUL LANGUAGE 

AND INHERITED DISTRUST 

I FEEL LIKE A MAIDEN IN A TOWER 

TRANSMITTING SOME LONELY FREQUENCY 

BEEP BEEP BEEP 

SILENTLY 

IT IS VERY QUIET HERE 

AND THE STAIRS LEADING DOWN TO THE BOTTOM FLOOR 

CREATE A MOANING SONG ARRANGEMENT 

AS I DESCEND 

BUT AT THE BOTTOM LIES ALL THIS PAINT 

AND CANVAS 

AND POWER TOOLS 

AND OLD BICYCLES PARTS 

AND PILED SCAFFOLDING 

AND TALL PLANKS OF WOOD LEANED AGAINST THE RED BRICK WALLS

TARPS 

AND WOOD CHIPS 

ON THE SCARRED FLOOR OF CONCRETE

ALONG WITH DIRT 

AND HAY 

AND SEEING ALL THIS 

MY HEART IS SINGED WITH EXCITEMENT 

AND I PUT MY HEADPHONES IN

I’M BARELY AWAKE 

BUT I FEEL LIKE I’M THE ONLY PERSON ALIVE

AND THREE HOURS COULD BE THREE SECONDS 

AND ALL OF THIS COULD BURN 

AND BE WHITTLED DOWN TO 

A SMALL PILE OF ASH 

AND IN IMAGINING THIS 

I COULD THINK OF NO GREATER MANIFESTATION 

BITCHES BREW 

IN A SILENT WAY 

ON THE CORNER

THE SOUND OF IT 

WITHIN A SOFT-DREAM MIND 

IS AN AVALANCHE IN THE HEAD 

CIRCULAR 

PERPETUAL 

RELENTLESS 

LIKE PUSHING THROUGH A VIOLENT WIND

NO DESTINATION

IN THE THICK OF IT 

WHERE NATURE PUTS ME 

UNMERCIFUL TOWARD CIRCUMSTANCE 

AND EMOTION 

UNCEASING 

TO OUR RULES OF COMFORT AND CONDUCT 

AND MILES RAGES 

AND I TUMBLE AND RAGE WITH HIM 

ALONG WITH MY GUIDES 

WHO HAVE VENTURED WITH ME 

THROUGH ALL OF IT

AND THE BREAK

WHEN IT COMES 

AND I STEP AWAY 

IS LIKE LIFE ITSELF 

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO THINK OF IT ALL

CAUSE THAT, WAS NEVER THE PURPOSE 

IT WAS TO EXIST IN IT 

OF IT 

EAT IT 

DRINK IT 

PUKE AND SHIT 

COLLAPSE 

GET UP 

DROP THE MIC

OR THE BRUSH 

OR THE TRUMPET 

AND BOW OUT 

AND THEN, YEARS LATER 

I WAS REUNITED WITH THESE WORKS 

MY MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL STATE 

ENTIRELY DIFFERENT 

SEEING THEM AGAIN 

SPREAD OUT ON THE FLOOR 

OF MY PARENTS FLAT IN NASHVILLE 

IT WAS LIKE SEEING OLD FRIENDS AGAIN 

ONES THAT ARE PRETTY NEW AND UNKNOWN TO YOU 

BUT YOUR BOND IS THAT OF BROTHERHOOD/SISTERHOOD

BONDED OVER THE FIRE OF LIFE’S INTENSITY 

LIKE TOUR MATES 

IF YOU ALLOW IT, YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF

FOREVER CONNECTED TO THE PEOPLE YOU JOURNEYED WITH 

ONE THING THAT ISOLATION OF THAT KIND DID TO ME 

IT OPENED MY SUBCONSCIOUS MORE 

MY CONSCIOUS MIND SLOWLY REALIZED 

THAT IT WASN’T GONNA BE DISTURBED 

PHONE OFF, NO ONE I KNEW COMING ROUND 

AND MY SUBCONSCIOUS FOLLOWED SUITE 

EVENTUALLY LETTING IT SINK

THAT IT WAS NOT GONNA BE INTERRUPTED 

IF I SAT AND STAIRED AT A WALL FOR THREE HOURS 

TRUTH IS 

I WAS ..REALLY CONFUSED AT THE TIME 

ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS, IDENTITY AND PURPOSE 

AND I HAD TO WALK THROUGH IT

IT WAS A NECESSARY WRESTLE 

YOU AND ME AND EGO